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HELLCAB Hellcab is a collection of scenes from the life of a Chicago cab driver on one bitterly cold, 14-hour workday right before Christmas. Six actors portray 30-plus passengers who come from all walks of life: a born-again couple going to church; several fellow cab drivers; obnoxious shoppers, lawyers, and New Yorkers; drug addicts; a drunk; a rape victim; and several horny, pregnant, or otherwise scary and/or uplifting people. This bittersweet holiday-season play by Will Kern has run for nine straight years since its debut in Chicago at the Famous Door Theatre. Union Garage, 1418 10th, 720-1942. $12 Fri. and Sat, pay-what-you-will every Thurs. 8 p.m. Thurs.-Sat. Ends Sat., Dec. 15.
THE YOUNG PERSON'S GUIDE TO HANDEL'S MESSIAH Join the Seattle Symphony and the Seattle Symphony Chorale for a personalized presentation of excerpts from the Messiah and other famous works by Handel. This performance is a part of Seattle Symphony's Discover Music series for ages 5 and up. Benaroya Hall, 200 University, 215-4747 or www.seattlesymphony.org. $12 children / $17 adult. 11 a.m. and 2 p.m. Sat., Dec. 15.
WEIHNACHTEN! A GERMAN CHRISTMAS Experience Christmas in Germany with a concert showcasing traditional German a cappella music—including such favorites as "In Dulci Jubilo," "Lo How a Rose," and "Ave Maria." Seattle Pro Musica's Women's Schola will perform medieval chant in the traditional candlelight processional, and the evening will conclude with an audience sing-along of traditional German carols. General $17 advance, $19 at the door; students and seniors $13 advance, $15 at the door. 781-2766 for tickets or www.seattlepromusic.org. Chapel at Bastyr University, 14500 Juanita Drive N.E., Bothell. 8 p.m. Sat., Dec. 15. Town Hall, 1119 Eighth, 3 p.m. Sun., Dec. 16.
B.O.M.B'S HOLIDAY BLAST Baroque Northwest presents the Benevolent Order for Music's annual Holiday Blast. Celebrate the season with the best of three musical eras: medieval, Renaissance, and baroque, featuring music from 15th-century England, 16th-century Germany, and 17th-century France. Bethany Lutheran Church, 7400 Woodlawn N.E., 382-2614 or www.baroquenorthwest.com. $20 / $15 students and seniors. 8 p.m. Sat., Dec. 15 and 3 p.m. Sun., Dec. 16.
HOLIDAY ART SALE The Kirkland Arts Center presents its annual Holiday Art Sale featuring an imaginative array of holiday gift shopping ideas created by students, Arts Center members, and artists throughout the Pacific Northwest. Find beautiful pottery, sculpture, glassware, prints, painting, jewelry, candles, and soap. Participate in creative hands-on workshops. Kirkland Arts Center, Peter Kirk Building, 620 Market, 425-822-7161. 10 a.m.-6 p.m. daily. Ends Sun., Dec. 16.
ISSAQUAH REINDEER FESTIVAL The only Reindeer Festival outside of the North Pole. The whole family is invited to join in this one-of-a-kind event to benefit the animals and the education programs at the Cougar Mountain Zoo. Visit with Santa in his house, check out the reindeer as you walk through the play yard, listen to a story by an elf, sit in the Grand Traveling Sleigh, and enjoy all the music, lights, sights, and sounds. Cougar Mountain Zoo, 19525 S.E. 54th, Issaquah, 425-391-5508. $8 adults / $6 children. 10 a.m.-noon and 5-7 p.m. Wed.-Sun. Ends Fri., Dec. 23.
SEATTLE MEN'S CHORUS The Holiday Hit Parade is a wintertime tradition at Benaroya Hall, with the boys singing all the holiday hits you can handle. Benaroya Hall, 200 University, 214-4700 or www.seattlemenschorus.org. Call for prices and times. Ends Sun., Dec. 23.
A VERY LESBIAN NUTCRACKER, HUNG BY THE CHIMNEY Based on the titles alone you're in for an original pair of holiday shows. "Their breasts heave, their eyes lock, they stalk each other like cats, and they threaten to turn from respectable women into sex-craved animals at any moment," Seattle Weekly said about this group's last venture. Isn't that enough to get you there? Northwest Asian American Theatre, 409 Seventh S., 340-1049 or www.nwaat.org. $12 / $10 students and seniors. 7:30 p.m. Thurs.-Sat.; 4 p.m. Sun. Ends Sun., Dec. 23.
VOICES OF CHRISTMAS Conceived by Ruben Sierra and Colleen Carpenter-Simmons of The Group Theatre, this revival production features stories woven together with popular and traditional songs, skits, prose, and poetry to create a multicultural tapestry with universal appeal. ArtsWest Playhouse, 4711 California S.W., West Seattle, 938-0339 or www.artswest.org. $10-$24. Ends Mon., Dec. 24.
THE BEST CHRISTMAS PAGEANT EVER This family comedy centers on a community's production of the traditional Christmas pageant. Plenty of twists and turns challenge traditional assumptions of the Christmas story. The Best Christmas Pageant Ever cast consists mostly of children of a variety of ages and cultural backgrounds, while six notable adult actors fill in the remainder of the cast. Sure to please the whole family. Bathhouse Theater, on Green Lake, 325-6500 or www.ticketwindowline.com. $16 / $11 students and seniors. 8 p.m. Thurs., Fri., and Sat.; Sun. matinees at 2 p.m. Ends Sun., Dec. 30.
INSPECTING CAROL A comic collision of classics—Dickens' A Christmas Carol and Gogol's The Inspector General—Inspecting Carol is a behind-the-scenes peek at a struggling theater's annual production of A Christmas Carol, complete with prima donna performers, cast love affairs, tyrannical directors, and a surprise visit from a National Endowment for the Arts funding inspector that throws everything into chaos. A homegrown holiday hit. Seattle Center, Seattle Repertory Theater, 443-2222 or www.seattlerep.org. $15-$44. 7:30 p.m. Tues.-Sun.; 2 p.m. matinees Sat. and Sun. Ends Sun., Dec. 30.
