News Clips— Innocent/Guilty

INNOCENT

GUILTY

Phone users are celebrating the postponement of plans for 10-digit local calling; officials say phone line demand has been reduced by the computer industry downturn. We knew those dot-coms would eventually contribute something to society.

McDonald's is red-faced over embarrassing revelations that many prizes from its national contests were stolen through insider fraud. Next they'll be telling us Mayor McCheese wasn't democratically elected.

Seattle residents were reminded of the Northwest's summer beauty last Wednesday when 1.2 inches of rain fell. On the bright side, several of those stupid art pigs were swept away by flash floods.

An Eastside father and son were charged last week with holding up a Bellevue bank. They'll be featured in the new Mormon Church ad campaign: "The family that steals together, kneels together."

Mayor Paul Schell finally proved himself a man of action under pressure, fleeing the Chateau Ste. Michelle Winery after learning of Saturday evening's downtown disturbances. Hey, better drunk than asleep.

Microsoft is doing more phony grassroots lobbying; this time, pro-company letters to a Utah official turned out to be signed by dead people. Curiously enough, these same corpses voted for George W. Bush last November.

 
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