News Clips— Prominent/Decadent

PROMINENT

DECADENT

Good news for alleged bank robber Aristotle Marr. Court officials have not only accepted the $500,000 in bail money from his unnamed donor, they've also managed to defuse the exploding dye pack.

King County cop John Vanderwalker may sue over his dismissal for WTO week misconduct. He apparently bruised his toe kicking a first-aid worker and suffered mental anguish from the screams of two women he unjustly pepper-sprayed.

Supreme Court Chief Justices from 50 states loved their recent Seattle conference. Not only did they enjoy a midnight fireworks display, but none of the folks they woke up has the guts to sue.

Four Canadian citizens were nabbed by park rangers while hiking toward Canada with 44 pounds of cocaine. Not only do they face life imprisonment, but the low-speed foot chase trashed the value of the movie rights.

The Fraternal Order of Eagles won a surprise court victory affirming their right to remain an all-male organization. Area females will now have to find alternate venues where they can drink excessively, tell dirty jokes, and slip into senility.

The Seattle Mariners dropped a 12-run lead and lost to the Cleveland Indians in extra innings. On the bright side, it's this year's first team-related event not to be commemorated on $30 T-shirts.

 
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