Encyclopaedia of Evil

YERTLE THE TURTLE

Quite possibly the greatest book on the subject of turtle-stacking ever written. 'Nuff said.

YODA

An icon for the short and action figure-challenged, Yoda will chiefly be remembered as the spokesalien for a nefarious Lucas-Mattel brand of warrior code. Like Spock and Ralph Macchio, Yoda also provided a valuable role model for the overly-stimulated-with-sugar-and-Clearasil set as they blossomed into young, greasy adults.

YODEL

A vanishing art form, yodeling enjoyed a brief stint of popularity in the 1940s, trailing on the heels of the great pig-calling craze of '39. In these modern times, yodeling is most often practiced in the shower by frat boys after a little too much of the Champagne of Beers.1

1. A dubious title roughly equivalent to holding the position of, say, "The Caviar of Scrapple" or "The Madonna of Punky Brewster Impersonators."

YUPPIE

As it is now largely extinct, the yuppie has joined the ranks of other dwindling formerly great American species. In this respect, the plight of the yuppie is much akin to that of the now-vanished Nauga, multicolored herds of which used to roam the West freely until they were butchered by L'Hays E. Boy and his notorious gang of poachers. Luckily, the lifestyle and mating habits of the yuppie were amply documented1 by courageous filmmakers before the great Dot-Com Exodus of the 1990s.2

1. See Zero, Less Than.

2. This historic event and the ensuing New Management pogroms have caused the once-ubiquitous yuppie to go into hiding. Careful students of urban wildlife can sometimes spot yuppies leaving Urban Outfitters, perfecting their disguises with Atari T-shirts ($18), kitschy multicolored scarves ($35), and an inflated sense of self-worth (priceless). For more information on the wardrobe choices of the modern New Economy Aristocrat, see also Grunge, I Can't Believe It's Not.

Kate Shuster, Contrib.

 
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