Girls just wanna. . . .

Hello Dategirl,

I'm a 31-year-old male who is happily in love. I have a great sex life. Oh, and I'm not religious, nor do I vote for Republican or Democratic candidates. When I read your article of June 28 ["Betty Blowtorch Rocks!"], I felt like I had to give you some feedback as to what you were writing, or at least, my perception of it.

My immediate impression was that you were a 21-year-old moron: a woman discovering her burgeoning sexuality and pissed off at some former love who was a control geek, who found postmodernism feminism in an immoral, immature female rock band [Betty Blowtorch].

I think your writing style denotes an immature woman who enjoys immature, immoral activities. I never thought I'd see the day where a woman wrote like a male fraternity asshole, but the time has come.

I won't be reading your articles again, but I'd ask you to promote safe sex and love, not drivel revolving around casual sex.

Sadly Disappointed Reader

Dear Sadly,

Whoo boy, my sisters and I over here at the Thi Delta Venus house were outraged to read your cruel attack! Let me tell you that it took quite a few hits off the old beer bong to calm down.

But, being at base a sensitive soul, your words got me to thinking. Immature? Immoral? Irresponsible? Could it be? I don't pretend to understand how having a giggle over bumping uglies promotes the clap, but your sterling credentials (31-year-old, heathen, neither elephant nor donkey, in love, haver of great sex) lead me to believe you must have some sort of point. So as a thank-you to you, kind sir, I'm going to try to be a little more mature and intelligent from here on out.

Dear Dategirl,

I am a newly single 32-year-old woman who has been doing her best to play the field after ending a three-year relationship. I am attractive, smart, funny, and, to quote one man whom I had just blown, "all those other good things." I meet new men often, but the problem is that all three men I have hooked up with in the past couple of months have had "issues" (their word, not mine) with getting it up and getting it in me. I suspect that the now older pool of gentlemen I am dating since last being single is part of it (generally 35 plus), but I am starting to get a complex. I am beginning to think that the confident, just-out-for-sex vibe I'm putting out is scaring the boners out of all potential partners.

What's a gal to do?

Looking for a Good Honest Lay

Dear Looking,

Tramp! Your main problem is that you don't appreciate that a nice sweet cuddle and a soul-baring heart-to-heart can be just as satisfying as a rock-hard cock slamming in and outta your nether regions. Why would you want some handsome stranger's teeth tugging at your earlobe, his fingers gently (but firmly) manipulating your clit in a circular motion as he slides his humongous dick deep inside you doggy-style, when you could be enjoying a refreshing nonalcoholic beverage and a chat with this same stud?

Oh, who am I kidding—I gotta be me! Despite Se�Sadly's comments above, committed monogamous sex is not always what a girl wants. Sometimes all a dame wants is one night of hot monkey love with a handsome stranger.

Conventional wisdom holds that men will drop trou at the drop of a hat, but lately I've been finding this is not always the case. Suddenly we are coming across men who would actually rather talk than fuck.

I don't generally suggest game-playing, but since you're only looking to get laid, I'd say take your vibe down a notch and try being a bit demure. Though I'm bound to get a million letters offering to fuck you senseless, the fantasy of a woman who is only interested in a quick tumble is far less thrilling than the reality for most men. You're right, you probably are scaring them. The penis is a temperamental organ attached to that most sensitive of beasts, the human male. He can't always be Homo erectus.

Immature, immoral advice for everyone! Write to Dategirl at dategirl@seattleweekly.com or Dategirl, c/o Seattle Weekly, 1008 Western, Ste. 300, Seattle, WA 98104.

 
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