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Village Voice
The Great Walls of Chinatown
With the exception of the electric rice cookers, this Bowery tenement could have come straight from the Nineteenth Century.
By Elizabeth Dwoskin
Houston Press
Getting Off
DUI attorney Tyler Flood wins 80 percent of his trials--even if his clients were 100 percent drunk.
By Mike Giglio
Miami New Times
Park or Die Tryin'
From the homeless parking mafia to the meter fairy, finding a spot in Miami has taken a turn toward the surreal.
By Gus Garcia-Roberts
City Pages
The Baddest Men on the Planet
Straight from the Sam's Club tire shop, Brett Rogers prepares to meet Fedor Emelianenko in mortal combat.
By Bradley Campbell

STARS	ALSO-RANS
Ferndale High School students got a graduation gift from four-star homophobe Rev. Fred Phelps, who didn't show up for his promised picket of their commencement ceremonies. You'd think such a godly man would keep his word.	The Lake Washington School District will restrict student access to Toni Morrison's Song of Solomon, claiming the African-American author's novel negatively depicts blacks. Also, many teachers would have to explain to their classes what blacks are.
Mayor Paul Schell has finally hired a big-shot consultant in hopes of getting kinder, gentler media coverage. Well, at least he got around to it before he got voted out of office.	Cigarette maker Philip Morris will appeal a record $3 billion jury award to a cancer-ridden California customer; company officials countered by offering Richard Boeken and his family a lifetime supply of Marlboros.
Centralia College hopes to display two murals exiled from the state Capitol by art-hating Neanderthals. The artist asked that they be destroyed; hanging them in Centralia was apparently judged the next closest thing.	Seattle Times publisher Frank Blethen is packing his things for a threatened move to the suburbs in protest of Seattle's "ultraliberal, pro-labor" atmosphere. Well, "The Bothell Times" does have a ring to it. On the bright side, this should shorten columnist Mindy Cameron's commute from Idaho.