24 Things we're glad we didn't do

Related Content

• The Weekly Wire: This Week's Recommended Events
  March 28, 2012
• Duck Soup
  April 4, 2012
• The Weekly Wire: This Week's Recommended Events
  April 18, 2012
• The Weekly Wire: This Week's Recommended Events
  April 11, 2012
• The Next 50
  April 11, 2012

More About

• David Brewster
• Brian Miller
• Skip Berger
• Paul Allen
• Adolf Hitler

Like this Story?

Sign up for the Weekly Newsletter: Our weekly feature stories, movie reviews, calendar picks and more - minus the newsprint and sent directly to your inbox.

Privacy Policy Cancel Continue

Esperanto crossword puzzles.

Use David Brewster's original name for the paper, Seattle Fortnightly.

Accept illegally harvested human kidney ads in classifieds section.

Adopt 52-week all-gift-guide format.

Publish film editor Brian Miller's 30,000-word review of Little Nicky.

Dateboy.

Men Seeking Farm Animals section in the Personals.

Run "Globalization Is Inevitable: Seattle Weekly Welcomes WTO Delegates!" cover story.

After Eastsideweek, launch other regional sister papers, such as Fifeweek, Sequimweek and Spanaweek.

Scratch 'n' Sniff panel to accompany "Pooped!" cover story on Canada geese.

Adopt former Editor in Chief Skip Berger's "Casual, Clothes-Free Friday" office policy.

Reinvent paper as Internet-based home shopping and delivery service.

"Who'dyafuck?" box in music section.

Sports section devoted exclusively to women's fast-pitch softball.

Emulate Vanity Fair by running photo of naked, pregnant Mary Kay LeTorneau on cover.

Print those forged Hitler diaries.

Dating tips column by Paul Allen.

Quarterly bird-watching issues.

"5th & James" column on political news at the King County Jail.

Weather section devoted entirely to blind guessing about hurricanes, drought, tsunamis, pestilence, and locust plagues.

Millenarian Horoscope (sample prediction: We're all going to die).

The Metro-height-challenged-person.

"Just-Got-Out-of-Prison" Gift Guide.

Refuse to run phone sex ads.