News Clips— Dunces/Geniuses

Dunces

Geniuses

Winter is this year's forgotten season—after a fierce one-day snowstorm a few weeks back, the weather has been sunny and clear enough to get everyone's spring allergies raging.

Ignore the critics, Jeff Bezos. Cashing in $12.2 million in Amazon.com stock while it's still worth something seems like a smart move from here. (Confidential to Jeff: Put that mad money into T-bills!)

Carpal tunnel syndrome sufferers shouldn't look to the Republican Party for sympathy—the U.S. Senate overturned the Clinton Administration's workplace rules to help prevent repetitive stress injuries. Feel free to write the Republican Senate leadership in protest—provided you've got voice recognition software.

Lawn lovers rejoice! The feds have put out a contract on some 4,200 Puget Sound area geese, which could significantly decrease the amount of goose poop per square inch of shoreline grass and cut your laundry bills.

Look out, George W. Bush—with Dick Cheney's ticker going haywire again, you could be a heartbeat away from your administration's top job.

Dave Osgood had a good week: The potential Seattle city attorney candidate lost rival Mark Sidran to the mayor's race, while pocketing thousands of city dollars in a lawsuit settlement. Can Dave afford to win this election?

 
comments powered by Disqus