Hanging by a fringe

Northwest Actors Studio, 1100 E Pike: Thu 3/15 at 10:45; Sat 3/17 at 10:45.

The Virgin Slut Actuality

TEDDI YAEGER

Burt (Or When I Was Five I Killed Myself)

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The last time I saw performers walk on stage with a dusting of glitter on their hair and faces was at my son's preschool talent show. But The Virgin Slut Actuality (devised by Nicole Poirier and Mara Siciliano and performed by nine dancers) would never fly at Kay's Kiddie Korner. It's a series of short dances and monologues dealing with sex and women's bodies, with no shortage of faked masturbation, pseudo-sexy bump-and-grinding, and gymnastic tongue-wiggling. Despite its "adult" subject matter, however, it remains kids' stuff: earnest, self-conscious, and delivered without a trace of irony or wit.—L.M.

Chamber Theater, 915 E Pine, 4th floor: Thu 3/15 at 10:30; Sat 3/17 at 5.

*Welcome To Flavor Country

Writer/director team Tommy Smith and Stan Schmidt scored during last year's Fringe Fest with Law of Scale, and they're still rolling with this wacky satire about whether or not to rebel, and coinci- dentally, whether or not to smoke. Royal (show-stealer Conor Duffy) and Bunting (Judah Stevenson) are security guards dressed in hideous orange jumpsuits and edgily pondering their fate. They're employed in a research facility where human experiments, a crazed male nurse (Joel Israel), and spooky Muzak swirl together into a violent and metaphysically troubling haze. The buildup here is exquisite, enough so that the overly twisted climax detracts only slightly from the overall mastery of the performances, writing, and timing. Oh yeah, and the costumes—everybody's in weird bodysuits!--R.A.M.

Union Garage 2, 1418 10th: Thu 3/15 at 7:45; Sat 3/17 at 6:30.