Yes, we're all extremely busy. There's way too much going on with appointments, schedules, and earthquakes to waste time downloading such frivolities, yet people just as busy as you and I gave themselves some "quiet time" in order to check out that malignant Anna Kournikova jpeg. While everyone laments the downfall of the Internet economy, the fringes are still as strong as ever, and if you have a desk job like me, you probably get these Web sites forwarded to you as well. No doubt, you've seen some of the sites below and visit I Love Bacon every day, but I'll bet you haven't seen all of these. So feel free to forward them along—it makes you look smarter to your friends!
Video music underground
user.tninet.se/~prv247p/hatt/hatten.swf— Features blaring Middle Eastern music, manipulated pictures of people made to look like they're dancing, and a very special hat that everyone gets to wear. It's Azar Habib's video, still waiting for the creation of MTV3.
www.goldenshower.gs/e/home.html—This Brazilian electronic group's Web site has a video that replicates Atari's graphics style, fitting perfectly with a song made completely from Atari sound effects. It also answers the question "If the Pitfall guy finished his day by spinning at a rave, what would it look like?"
www.losers.org—The best search engine for the scariest homemade Web sites, graciously grouped into such categories as "Trekkies," "wannabes," "Goths," and, of course, "journalists."
DakotaShepard.tripod.com—I knew this girl in college, and now you can too! Marvel at her festering psychoses through daily reflective diary entries (written as—shudder—prose and poetry). Her breakdowns hit like clockwork, and strangely, they always come right around sweeps weeks. Do I need to tell you that she was a drama major? It's as horribly fascinating as being around the loud girl at the party who thinks she's funny discussing her menstruation.
www.amihotornot.com—Regular people put their pictures up, and you rate participants' looks on a scale of 1 to 10. This inspires interoffice ethical debates, such as "Is showing skin indeed 'hot' or just overdoing it?" and "Why do so many people send in their high school senior portraits?"
www.velocity.net/~galen/psexfaq.html—Finally, a group to make you feel you belong. Exercise the limits of your freedom by learning about Plushies. For those not familiar, that means people who get it on with stuffed animals! This detailed overview—which misuses the phrase "frequently asked questions"—is for adults only.
www.doodie.com—A new cartoon joke every day. Guess what the punch line is? Doodie! Every day.
Ben Goldberg is a New York-based freelance writer.