POOR SLADE. First he gets overlooked for attorney general, now the P-I reports he's grubbing for the No. 3 DOJ post as solicitor general. (Surgeon general was never an option.) Well, if that doesn't work out, he'll be glad to know that there are some other lesser-known general gigs in the W. administration:
Inspector General: Opens mail, empties wastebaskets.
Deliverer General: Gets coffee, delivers pizza to White House.
Swindler General: Steals land from Native Americans.
Terminator General: Ends equal opportunity and school lunch programs.
Segregator General: Keeps suburban schools minority-free.
Obfuscator General: Cloaks right-wing W. policies with inscrutable legalese.
Fisher General: Abrogates Native American fishing rights.
Poker General: Pokes Cheney to keep him awake during meetings.
Inquisitor General: Persecutes and tortures political opponents.
Enforcer General: Breaks legs, collects debts, whacks squealers.
Dishwasher General: Hey, it's a job!
Skeletor General: No additional qualifications required.