Related Content
More About
THE MAN FORMERLY known as Mitch Maddox has become the world's first full-time WebPotato. Renaming himself Dot-ComGuy, the 26-year-old moved into a bare Dallas townhouse January 1st and has vowed to stay inside for a year, living entirely off items he orders from the Internet. Excerpts from his online diary are printed below:
Day 1: This is a great idea—I don't know why I didn't think of it sooner! Who needs the lines and traffic and hassle of the real world, when I can make the world come to me!
Day 3: Things are going according to plan! E-tailers are making routine deliveries—food, movies, blow-up toys. And thank god for espresso.com.
Day 4: Think I'm coming down with the flu or a cold. Luckily, drugstore.com has been shipping all sorts of goodies—cough syrup, Flu-Ex, and a few well-doctored (no pun intended) prescriptions: Darvon, antibiotics, and enough amphetamines to make Elvis dance in his grave.
Day 5: Wow, what a busy day! I'm getting thousands of hits on my site (Dot-comguy.com)! With chat rooms, instant messaging, and e-mail, I'm actually more social than I was before becoming a shut-in!
Day 7: First check from my sponsors arrived (IKEA and hemorrhoid.net)! Online banking is where it's at (and once you've set up Auto-Pay, there's never any need to check the old account again). Those stuffy tellers can blow me (.com)!
Day 10: I've had quite a few e-mails asking how it is I can just sit around doing nothing all day. That couldn't be further from the truth! I visited the zoo this afternoon (SanDiegozoo.com) and took in the newest exhibit from MOMA (.org). Tonight I'll be seeing the Rolling Stones Webcast live from Rome! I get out, I just don't go anywhere.
Day 13: Still worried about my health, as this cough will not go away. Starve a cold, feed a fever. Wish I knew which I had. . . .
Day 17: It's like Christmas all the time around here! My house is now packed with antique dressers (eBay), fresh flowers (FTD), luggage (redletter.com), boxes of chocolate (Godiva.com), and tickets to places I have no intention of visiting (travelocity). I've even bought a few cars (iauto.com)!
Day 19: Modem's down. I've called Office Depot but am currently on hold.
Day 20: This is bunk. I'm still offline—may try some other office supply shops.
Day 21: Now on hold with OfficeMax. I'm hoping my Web audience isn't gone when I return.
Day 22: Finally! Good to be back with a live feed! How's everybody doing out there? I've had my share of Chinese food over the last few days, I can tell ya that! IKEA has dropped out as a sponsor, so there's a big banner with your name on it! Hurry, as this opportunity won't last long!
Day 26: The laundry's really piling up. Neat.com has a service that will pick up dry cleaning, but I can't think of a reason to get dressed up. Still, it's good to know I could look nice if I had to.
Day 33: Seem to have misdiagnosed my earlier symptoms. Whatever I think I had, the anti-inflammatories from pill.com are making me hurl like Sarah Michelle Gellar after supper. I've sent a photo frame of my throat to a doctor in Wichita who does Web calls, but haven't heard back.
Day 38: All I can say is thank god for themoneystore.com! Things were getting tight there for a while. Starting to dabble in the stock market.
Day 40: My wife left me. Her exact quote was, "You've become a lazy, fat sack of shit. Sitting in front of the TV was one thing, but now you don't even leave the house to pick up six-packs!" Not to worry, the Web has solutions for my sorry ass—flabout.com suggested exercises I can do in the La-Z-Boy. In addition, mylackey.com sent a valet to do the housework, and the chefs of feedme.com cook better than the wife ever could. As for love and affection, escort.com, though a bit expensive, is reliable, and the variety, quite frankly, is refreshing.
Day 48: SureTrade my ass! Seem to have miscalculated the ease of online trading. Amazon went from $113 to $85 and so did my portfolio. I've lost the Web-egg.
Day 50: Hemorrhoid.com pulled their sponsorship. Something about my open boils and not wanting to be affiliated. (I'm workin' on it!) Their loss is a kick-ass opportunity for you! Rates are negotiable (we can even cut the live feed).
Day 53: Sent my resume to HotJobs.com for a little extra income, but most of the offers require me to leave the house for at least one interview. My parents said they think I should stop acting like a baby and get a real job like everyone else.
Day 55: HickoryFarms.com, my final vendor, has cut off deliveries. Food supplies running low. Must find funding source. Searching for online loan institutions.
Day 59: Take a good look around, surfer dudes, 'cause everything you see on the Web Cam is for sale—I'm having a Virtual Garage Sale! Best offer!
