Ready (w)to wear

With grunge and coffee culture finally reaching the interior areas of Iowa and pockets of civilization in the Ozarks, Seattle is set once again to unleash a national fashion craze. In the past week, cops and protesters alike modeled daring new looks on the world stage, accessorizing with bandannas, kneepads, and helmets, while sending strong hints that the new black is, well, black. Just in time for the spring line, it's Riot Fashion—bold, utilitarian, and hot, hot, hot!

Why hug a tree when you can be one? This woody ensemble is sure to turn heads, entice birds, and attract the attention of that cute multinational logging executive you've been eyeing over hefeweizen at Gordon Biersch. ($240; optional dry-rot treatment kit, $30)

Second only in stylishness to Capitol Hill's Vespa Brigade, Seattle's Finest are looking tight 'n' shiny on their white-and-blue Justice Cycles, ready for another day of WTO wackiness. ($30,000 a set, policemen not included—unless you're an economic ruling elite organization)

From London to Paris, flags are all the rage this season, and nothing says "Smash the State" like this smart banner in Anarchist Black with simulated teak handle. Combining panache with makeshift weaponry, this accessory is a must for the serious class warrior. ($145 Loehmann's Exclusive)

When there's gas in the air, protester (and bystander) beware. But on horseback or on foot, officers need not fear flaming eyes or burning throats with these taxpayer-furnished gas masks. Dual-filtered, EZ-on, and available in basic black or pale gray, these masks match perfectly with body armor and rubber-bullet guns. A real Police Statement! ($50 for police, $2,000 and jail time for civilians)

What it lacks in mobility, it makes up for in sleekness, and nothing will put you in high society faster than this human tripod. Look down your nose at the people below, get the lay of the land, or just enjoy a November breeze while going eye-to-eye with a stoplight. Upside-down flag of nation of your choice included. ($340)

Faster than a rubber bullet! More powerful than a Peacemaker! Able to leap police lines in a single bound! Look! Up in the sky! It's a Liberal! It's an Anarchist! No, it's Gassy Man! ($200 for the gasoline you'll need to drive around town to buy all the junk)