Visitors' guide to the Emerald City

TWO GROUPS OF VISITORS, two very different sets of needs. When the WTO comes to town, our city will be flooded with international guests. Some will be dignitaries staying in suites at the Four Seasons; some will be anarchists sleeping on living room floors in the U District. We at Seattle Weekly thought it would be hospitable to provide our visitors with a brief list of recreational, cultural, and shopping opportunities available in our fair city, specifically tailored to the Fat Cats and the Stray Cats.

Fat Cats

Stray Cats

When it's time to kick back and celebrate the pleasures of being filthy rich—and deservedly so!--the cigar lounge at El Gaucho (2505 First Ave) couldn't be more accommodating.

Smoking

The Turf at First and Pike—right next to a discount tobacco outlet!--is all-smoking all-the-time, with cheap drinks to boot.

Sure, you could go to some pretentious five-star affair. But perhaps you'd rather embrace the Northwest aesthetic of eye-popping wealth combined with studied casualness. In that case, head straight for Cascadia (2328 First Ave), Seattle's new center for the enlightened rich.

Seafood

Catch' em yourself off the downtown piers, but watch out for PCBs! Or try the $2 fish taco at Taco del Mar—it's better than eating spotted owl—er, wild salmon.

Ummelina (1525 Fourth Ave) is where you and your aides-de-camp can get the pampering to which you are accustomed.

Spa

The restrooms at the Seattle Public Library are a favorite spot to strip to the waist and give yourself a

vigorous sponge bath.

Stop by Chihuly Inc. (509 NE Northlake Way) and pick up a couple of chandeliers for the friends back home! Made in a creative atmosphere free of cumbersome labor rules.

Souvenirs

Silk-screened poster of Joe Hill, $10 at Left Bank Books in Pike Place Market.

Take a scenic tour of the area with Kenmore Air (364-6990). Strafe some protesters downtown! Or leave the hubbub behind and charter a Cessna up to Port Ludlow to play golf.

Recreation

Pick-up games of hacky-sack are always available at Gas Works Park along the north shore of the appropriately named Lake Union.

Take-out caviar is available at the drive-up window of Seattle Caviar (2833 Eastlake Ave E).

Gifts

Ten Thousand Villages (1524 First Ave) offers a wide selection of "fairly traded" crafts from around the world. Have an exploitation-free Kwanza!

The most officious valet parking attendants can be found at the Metropolitan Grill (820 Second). We cannot recommend the use of local taxis: Officials within Seattle's "hospitality industry" have regularly complained that the drivers are not sufficiently groomed to be chauffeuring individuals of your stature.

Transportation

Assuming all the county buses aren't being used to form a protective barrier around the Westin, you can get around downtown, from the Greyhound station to the Amtrak station, for free via Metro buses. Don't feel like walking the whole route of the Big March? Hop aboard!

Naturally, we recommend the back pages of Seattle Weekly for those of discriminating taste looking to locate a most classy companion.

Sex

Once again, we recommend the handy back pages of Seattle Weekly for that special someone with whom to mount the, er, barricades.

ILLUSTRATIONS: PAUL CORIO

 
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